Saturday, December 30, 2006
John, Keaton and Jamie in Parliament.
John and Jamie
It feels so good to be back home and doing our own thing. I made dh happy by working yesterday and today. Not that this paycheque will be stellar, but better than nothing right?? Right now he's downstairs painting in the kitchen. I finished typing up reports for work. John John is outside playing in the inch of snow we got. He was able to play in more snow up at our friend's in Ottawa so at least he can see that there will be a winter. Personally I would be happy with no snow and a mild winter. Wish me luck!
We hauled all of the gifts up to my in-laws, so "Santa" could make an appearance. I never believed in Santa as we didn't really celebrate "Christmas" when I was little. Can't deny John's Christian half, and he's enjoying double presents. I did remind him that going to Disney counts as one huge present, and he was sort of okay with no gifts a couple of nights of Chanukah. However, he was extremely disappointed that his grandfather got more gifts than him! LOL. He was overjoyed with the monorail, and we told him that we bought it when we were in Florida.
We drove up to Ottawa on Wednesday, and had a chance to visit with our friends Jamie and Sandra. John was a little uncooperative when we were at the Open House on Parliament Hill. Only my son thinks it's okay to walk around Parliament with his pants down and showing off his little tush. One day he will be embarrassed by this. We had a nice supper with my siblings at my brother Andrew's new restaurant. We threatened John with his life if he didn't behave, and he was excellent. Funny how threats work that way! Now if he'll be good at my in-laws 50th anniversary, we're golden.
Wish me luck as I have to go back to Kingston in less than 2 weeks. I will really have to come up with a good excuse to not go back for Easter. Any suggestions???
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I purposely scheduled work for Monday and Tuesday this week. I have been doing all the last minute stuff such as wrapping presents and laundry. I hate the thought of hauling gifts up to Kingston, only to be lugged back home. My husband just doesn't understand why I don't want to go up to Kingston. He still rolls his eyes when I say that this is my home. Oh well, it's my hang up isn't it?
Friday, December 15, 2006
How can it be 2 years since my mom passed away. Some days it seems like just yesterday she was here in my life, and other days it seems like longer than 2 years. I hate to say her death was easy to accept because to an outsider it sounds callous. But her last 12 years were difficult, and a blessing. She outlived the original prognosis of 9 months, but she was never the same after her bouts with brain cancer. I was prepared for her imminent death, and knew it would come. It wasn't easy getting the final call at 12:30am on December 16. I certainly cried a lot of tears that night, and seeing her in the coffin at the funeral home was hard. I also found it hard watching her coffin go into the ground.
Those first few months were sad as I passed some birthdays, and her birthday without her. I think though I can tell that 2 years have passed as John John's memories of her are fading. I keep a picture of him with her (when he was a newborn) on my fridge, and we look at picture albums together. I also look at my niece who will be 2 in a few weeks, and 2 years have their impact. I also know this must be bittersweet for my sister who is pregnant with her first child, and know that my mom will never get to see her grandchild. So, on this bittersweet day I pay respect to my mom. I miss you and miss hearing your voice. Love you mom.
Ironically these pictures were taken the second last Thanksgiving my parents had with us. It's also ironic because my father passed away 8 months after mom.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
A - Available or single: None of the above. Married for 11 1/2 yrs.
B - Best friend: Val, and long time best friend Marie
C- Cake or pie: Cake...I love cake chocolate that is!!
D - Drink of choice: Caffeine free diet coke
E - Essential item you use everyday: My coffee pot
F - Favorite color: Purple
G- Gummy bears or worms: gummy bears.
H- Hometown: Kingston, Ontario
I - Indulgence: Bath and Body Works
J - January or February: January - 'cause it's John's birthday month!
K - Kids & names: John David (6)
L - Life is incomplete without? laughter
M - Marriage date: August 5, 1995
N - Number of siblings: 3
O - Oranges or apples: apples. oranges are too much damn work.
P - Phobias or fears: phobia of snakes, and not having enough breathing space
Q - Fave quote: don't have one that isn't a swear word at the moment
R - Reason to smile: John
S - Season: Fall
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: Val, Diane, Shannon
U - Unknown fact about me: I can swear like nobody's business.
V- Vegetable you don't like: Cooked spinach
W - Worst habit: procrastinator
X - Xrays: ?? 5 or so
Y - Your fave food: beef
Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces
Monday, November 27, 2006
We made it back in one piece! Our trip went pretty well. It was a bit more crowded in the Magic Kingdom than I expected, but better than if we went at Christmas. John's favourite ride was the Indy Speedway (what a surprise!). We didn't make it to Epcot, but were able to get to the other parks. We went on Safari at Animal Kingdom, and did the animation tour at MGM. We had breakfast at MGM on Monday, and John wanted to go again. Poor guy didn't understand that reservations were required. All in all it was a fun trip!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Tomorrow we head out for Florida. I haven't been in 3 years. This will be John John's first trip to Disney. I'm excited, and I know he is. He's been a little on the testy side and some days have been a struggle. However I know this is exciting for him. It will be fun to see his reaction to the park. Will post more after we return.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I'm so excited that we are heading out in a few hours. I desparately need this time away. Yesterday just about killed me. Day starts off with John John being a brat, and me yelling. Take him to school, and get a parking ticket, thank you very much. Two evals scheduled, and both were cancelled. Then after Cub Scouts John John was his absolute worst. All I can say is "THANK GOD I"M HEADING OUT!"
Monday, November 06, 2006
I'm excited to get away for a few days without my John's. John has travelled for almost 5 weeks this fall, so I deserve 3 days. They are heading up to John's parents while I am away. I don't mind one bit on that. Then next Friday we head out for Disney World. Busy busy month!
John came home last Monday and it's nice to have him back. His laundry sat unwashed till he realized that he needed to do it. Sorry Charlie, the laundry fairy ain't doing 3 weeks worth. Of course it's still in the basket needing to be folded. Makes him realize that I do some things for him the rest of the year.
Monday, October 30, 2006
I have also made a decision to not invite guests here while John is away. My dear husband thinks it gives me a break, but in all honesty it causes me more stress. John John acts like a goof and doesn't listen when we have people here. I feel like damage control is just not worth it. Plus when John was in India John John was fantastic. I will get a sitter if I really feel a desire to get out. I am done with guests when John is away.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
So, the in-laws arrived Thursday afternoon to spend quality time with John John. I don't know why he has to act the way he does when they are here. I feel like they are quietly commenting behind their back that I have no control of him and am a terrible parent. John usually ignores almost every rule and does what he wants. Plus he is spoiled by them and damage control takes a while after visiting.
On top of that the tv stopped working. I have absolutely no clue how to fix it. We came home Thursday afternoon and the screen was blue. I called Time Warner and they rebooted to DVR box, but it wasn't that. My father-in-law pulled and replugged in wires but still not tv. It is frustrating to John John because he can't watch his shows, and my father-in-law also is not happy. So, he brought down a little tv and has watched some sports on it. He's a true tv addict. At least John John hasn't totally melted down and has been fine without the television.
Tomorrow the in-laws head back home. We have a couple of days and then my sister-in-law comes down. I sure hope my son doesn't act as terribly. One can only wish.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Forgive me for being a tad on the sarcastic side. John's parents are coming down on Thursday to visit. I do not have my buffer of dear hubby, so it shall be interesting. For the most part my in-laws are great people. They will be there at the drop of a hat to help, and are very generous. My father-in-law rushed over to help my dad out the night mom died, and he stayed with him at the hospital till she was pronounced dead. BUT, I always find it a tad annoying how they completely ignore me when they are with John John. I am planning on doing an evaluation Sunday morning, and might go out by myself for a bit. I tend to hold my tongue and try not to intervene when grandma and grandpa take over. I do this because they are John's only grandparents, and he loves them dearly.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
No, it wasn't a crazy awful week. Just the usual running around, and accomplishing what needs to be done. John is a little disappointed that his friend Casondra couldn't come over for a playdate. I'm listening to him play school, which at times can be hilarious. They say imitation is a form of flattery. His teacher should be impressed. I laugh when he says, "Now I'm handing out the crayons, and you can't whine and complain about which crayon you get". "No trading". Better than last year when he would become psycho teacher, and yell "Go pull a card". John is just too funny.
Here's a cute picture of my son John and kitten (although not much of a kitten!) Tom. Aren't they precious??
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
We have decided to change our Disney trip and go over Thanksgiving. John John will only miss 2 days of school. It looks like Disney will be less crowded, and we can save some money going then. I'm excited. I haven't been to Disney in 13 years. The last time I went was in 1993 with my parents. We met friends from Kingston and had a fun day. I can't wait to see John John's reaction to Disney. I think he'll have a blast.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Yesterday was Yom Kippur, day of Atonement. We had a meal over at our neighbour's, and John was very good. He is such a little charmer! He looked so cute in his new oxford shirt and khaki pants. He came to synagogue for a bit, and went to the children's service. I guess I need to keep taking him. It was weird seeing both of my parents names in the book of remembrance.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I'm still not sure if I like John's fall travel schedule. He comes home on Tuesday, and will be home for 2 weeks. Then he leaves again for another 2 1/2 weeks. So, on the one hand it will be nice to have him home, we still have another trip looming. I was kind of thinking that maybe next fall he just goes for a month. We shall see.
Work is slowing down. I am losing kids, and at the moment don't see any new ones coming my way. I hope the lull is short lived. I like the break, but need the money.
Monday, September 11, 2006
This past weekend was nice. We went to Saratoga on Saturday for dinner. We shopped at Target to get some last minute things for John's trip. We also went to Pet Smart to get some flea stuff. Both cats have fleas. Never had to deal with them with Mckenzie. Tom is sitting here by the computer at the moment. He doesn't like to miss out on things!
We close the pool on Thursday. We haven't swam in it in a few weeks. It's bittersweet closing it up, but no sense keeping it open when we aren't swimming. Countdown till next swim season!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The first day went well, and John came home all happy. We got the FM system all straightened out. Sue came in to school today to show Mrs. Watrobski how to work it. John is going to miss Sue this year. She was such a wonderful teacher. I know she's going to miss him too. She will consult with Mrs. Watrobski this year.
My husband flies out Tuesday night for India. Hard to believe it's that time of the year. I know his travel season will be lighter, but it's still time away. At least I have one trip to look foreward to in November.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
We made a last minute decision to go to Ottawa for Jamie Jr.'s 6th birthday. Still not sure if we are going to leave Friday night or Saturday morning. The party is at 3 on Saturday. In some ways it would make more sense to go up Sat, and come home Sunday. We shall see. We do owe Jamie and Sandra because they came down for both of my parent's funerals.
I have Friday off work as I don't have any visits to make or evaluations to do. Nice to have some time to myself. We all have Monday off for Labour Day, and then John starts school on Wednesday. Not sure what we'll do on the Tuesday yet. We shall need some activity.
I'm a little meloncholy this week. I guess it's understandable.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
I'm up in our computer room listening to John John and his friend Alex fight. They usually get along really well. Guess we are all in moods today.
Yesterday was the Mason's picnic. It was a nice afternoon. We forgot the bathing suits, so John John borrowed one. It was a little on the big side, but it was okay. John John loves the water. He goes to camp tomorrow. I hope he has fun. It will be nice to not have to rush home to relieve the babysitter. It will also be nice to not have to get him till 4:30.
Tomorrow marks 1 year of dad's final week. One year ago today (Sunday) was the last time I had a conversation with him. I can't really consider his saying "yes" a final response.
Monday, August 14, 2006
It was nice seeing my kids. I think that's what I love about my job. Working with little ones can be so fun and I get lots of hugs and kisses! I lost one kid while I was on vacation, but to me it's not a huge loss. She was a strange one. I will miss some of the kids that will go on to preschool soon.
Not much else to report. Tomorrow I shall light a candle in memory of my dad. It's the Jewish anniversary, and the actual date is August 26. I might just light another candle then. I am finally feeling like I'm not going to burst into tears every time I think of dad. It's still a lonely feeling.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
John John has a break from activity this week. Next week he goes to the YMCA day camp for the last 2 weeks of summer. He'll probably have a fun time. They go swimming, play in the gym, do arts and crafts and field trips. Then on the Wednesday after Labour Day he begins first grade. John's a little nervous about doing homework, but it should be fine. Just have to get him on track to do it every day after school. Oh the battles we shall face!
Hubby is feeling better after a little summer cold. I behaved and didn't bother him as I was sick twice this year. I had the flu in February and strep in March. I hope this year is better and I don't get sick. Fingers crossed.
In just less than a month hubby leaves for India. September and October shall be busy with him gone. At least John John is easier to handle now that he's older.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
We were pretty good at keeping to our budgeted amount on spending. There was a fridge in our room so we bought a loaf of bread and cold cuts. We took a break from the sun each day at midday and had lunch in our room. I also didn't buy too much.
All in all it was a nice trip, and nice to get away together as a family. Now we are saving for Disney World. That should be fun!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
I am keeping an even keel as we approach the one year mark of dad's death. I know the week of the 21st will be hard. I do think I'm over the daily sadness. I do feel sad, and still find it hard to believe, but I haven't been feeling my daily dose of wanting to cry. I miss being able to talk to my parents.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
It's been nice to be able to swim with the weather being so toasty. We haven't gotten the bill yet, so that will be an eyesore when we get it. However a new pool liner was necessary as was the pump. The water in the pool is nice and refreshing. I was afraid when we first put water in that it would take a while to get warm. It was 85 in there today, so obviously I had nothing to worry about.
Life is back to normal now, and John John is still himself! I missed him last week when he was with his grandparents. John and I enjoyed the time to ourselves, but we certainly noticed the quietness. My in-laws stayed over the weekend, and went home yesterday. John John was a tad on the defiant side, but since they left he's been great. Tonight we went to Ponderosa for dinner on our little date without dad. Tomorrow he and his friend Alex are going to have a picnic here. One more week till we go to Virginia Beach. It should be fun vacation.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
It is very quiet here without my little man. It certainly feels strange to have all of this time to myself and not have to worry about him. John and I have been enjoying swims and being able to talk over dinner. It's also nice having the bed to ourselves for a few days!
The summer is flying by. We head out to Virginia Beach in just over 2 weeks. It will be fun staying right on the beach. John John will love playing in the sand and ocean. We haven't had a family vacation in a while so this will be nice.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
|Today we are just taking advantage of having a relaxing day. It was a busy weekend, and it feels nice to just chill. Yesterday we had dad's unveiling. It went well. My aunt did a really nice job leading the service. I got a little choked up saying my speech, which I shall share.|
I stand in front of your grave and in some ways I’m at a loss for words. You left us just over 10 months ago. Some days it feels like just yesterday. Some days it is feeling like time has passed. That week we spent watching you slip away in some ways was surreal. We were back on Kidd 7 where mom spent time after her 2 surgeries, and for me it brought back memories of being there with her. Of course our memories of mom were so vivid because we had just had her unveiling.
I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings and saying mourning your death has been easy. We have all struggled in our own ways with losing you so quickly and unexpectedly. This has been a very difficult year and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
All four of us have been mourning in our own private way. We are closer because of you. You always said family was important. I will never forget the look of joy you had on your face the afternoon we all spent with you at 10 Edgewood after mom’s unveiling. It wasn’t a planned thing; we all just went there after the luncheon. You were so happy to see your grandchildren playing happily together, and having all of your family there with you. You were at peace and enjoyed the time spent together.
You were a big part of our lives and not having you around is a huge loss to us. Although you weren’t religious, you certainly were a spiritual being. You believed in family, and instilled that on us. We did manage to coordinate all on our own travel arrangements for Sam’s wedding this past May. Imagine the four of us doing this without you worrying how it would all work out.
I miss your silly emails. I think my inbox has been missing them too! You always carried around with you a silly joke or two that you were forwarded by from friends. Your sense of humour was infectious, and you always found the humour in most situations. Why who else would request a mute button for his wife to be placed in her brain during brain surgery. Who else would suggest taking out his grandson for a TR-7 ride, and leave him in the car with the car running while he ran into the supermarket for a second? Of course you thought nothing wrong of leaving a 5-year-old in a running car. Until we gently reminded you that this particular 5 year old loved cars, and would somehow get it into gear and drive off. Who else would pay a cake decorator money to make a complete fake wedding cake, and have the unsuspecting bride and groom try to cut said fake cake with a metal plate in it but you? Who else would try to talk his way out of speeding tickets, but not quite succeeding?
Seriously though, you were a man who was loyal, and was there for his family and friends. I know the last 12 years of mom’s life were difficult. You stayed with her, and encouraged her to fight. Even after the second surgery, and radiation you always kept mom fighting to keep living. You were there for us also.
You also loved your boat and golfing. Our famous family boat trips live on in our memories. I remember doing the triangle and going to the 1976 Olympics. How the 6 of us functioned on a 29-foot boat, I’ll never know. You did upgrade to a 42-foot boat in 1985. Then the 6 of us ventured the triangle once again. Ahh, the family memories!
Death cannot be and is not the end of life. Man transcends death in many altogether naturalistic fashions. He may be immortal biologically, through his children, in thought through the survival of his memory; in influence, by virtue of the continuance of his personality as a force among those who come after him, and ideally through his identification with the timeless things of the spirit.
When Judaism speaks of immortality it has in mind all these. But its primary meaning is that man contains something independent of the flesh and surviving it; his consciousness and moral capacity; his essential personality; a soul.
I wish you were still here with us. I feel our saying good bye to you was far too quick. I miss you, and love you dad.
We had a nice luncheon at a restaurant after the service. It was nice to be together. Saturday night my brothers and I (with spouses and family) had dinner with my parents close friends. They came up for the unveiling, and it was nice to spend time with them.
My mother-in-law was sick over the weekend, so John didn't get his quality grandma time. Hopefully she'll be better by the 16th. John John is supposed to spend the week with them. I'm still a little nervous about him spending the week there. Not that I don't think he'll be well taken care of, but more so because the last time he was supposed to spend the week my dad had his stroke. Seriously bad things can't happen two years in a row, could it?
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
|Right now I am so angry I could spit. Dad's footstone was supposed to be at his grave by now, and is it?? NO. We have scheduled the unveiling for this coming Monday, and if it isn't there by Friday we'll have to reschedule. I just don't want to have it in August. Call me superstitious, but the last unveiling we had 3 days later my dad had his massive stroke. He died a week after mom's unveiling. The only realistic date we can have the unveiling would be probably on the 18th of August. I have had enough of a difficult year, and this isn't what I want. I am seriously going to lose it. |
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Wow! Today is John's last day of kindergarten. I can't believe how fast the year has flown by. Wasn't it yesterday that John started kindergarten?? John finishes at 11 this morning and then his friend Charity is coming over for a bit.
I am hoping that the pool liner is finished soon, and we have a working pool. It has been humid and I miss swimming. One more project of painting the house and we should for the most part be finished. The changes look great. Now I just need some motivation to clean!
Monday, June 19, 2006
I was able to get through my first Father's Day without my own dad. I think being here was better than being in Kingston. John feels his dad was a little miffed that he wasn't around to celebrate with him. We honestly had too much going on so it wasn't really an option. Most of our house projects are finished. John and I are really pleased with the results. Our new deck looks great. The improvements to the kitchen are amazing. I now have a stove that the top burners heat up in minutes rather than what felt like hours. I also have more space for my kitchen junk!! I love the new island. John John finishes school this Wednesday. I need to finalize summer plans and babysitting. I've been so spoiled during the year and not having to pay a sitter or daycare.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
|Truly, I find it hard to believe that I rode a school bus for over 10 years. I went with John's class on a field trip yesterday and riding the bus was the worst experience of my life. Maybe it's because the seats are higher now and you can't see over them to see the road. Or maybe it was the fact that my son was being a terror and I wanted to stop him. His saving grace was that he was great in the museum. I seriously don't know why he feels the need to yell and think it's acceptable. Ugggh. Plus he likes to yell in other kids faces and thinks it's okay. I hope he learns soon that it's not acceptable.|
Our kitchen is now complete. I need to put everything back in place this weekend. Friends are down at the moment doing other work for us. We will now have a deck off our kitchen and laundry room. It'll look nice. I will be happy when all the renovation projects are done.
I also have to call the monument place tomorrow to find out why dad's footstone isn't in yet. It's been ordered, and should be made. This is probably the only time I hate not living close by to personally go and see what is going on. I do not want to have dad's unveiling in August. It is just going to be a rough time without having to have his unveiling. Hopefully the footstone will be in by next week.
Monday, June 12, 2006
|Hard to believe that John's kindergarten year is almost over. It amazes me how much he has learned. He is now reading and reads everything he can. His Teacher for the Deaf is looking at the first grade teachers to see which one would be a good fit for John. I hope that next year he will continue to do well without his Teacher for the Deaf, Sue. She is retiring at the end of the month and we are going to miss her. She has been such a wealth of knowledge, and has done so much with John. He has come a long way because of Sue. |
I still need to figure out my summer schedule, and when to have my babysitter over. I'm sending John to our districts summer program, and then plan to have the sitter 3 afternoons a week. August I'll have her 3 days a week. Fingers crossed it goes as planned. I've been spoiled this year with working while John is in school. It will be a juggling act over the summer.
Our house improvements are rolling along. We should have the kitchen done soon. It looks really nice. I love my new island. More space to put in my kitchen stuff!! We had the backsplash tiled and it lightens it up tremendously. John also splurged and bought a new dishwasher to go along with our new stove. This will be nice.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
|John is away in Montreal till Friday for a conference, so it's just John John and I. It's actually kind of nice just being the two of us here. Solo parenting isn't always a joy, but when John John is good he's so easy. He had a T-ball game tonight. John John was a little silly on the field, and wasn't always paying attention. Not too sure how much of an athlete we have here. I like having him play if only for the socialization aspect. After the game we went with friends to where else, McDonald's. I will be so glad when that isn't the gourmet restaurant that is it at the moment.|
This weekend we are going to Pittsburgh for my cousin Sam's wedding. All of my siblings shall be there, which will be nice. Can't help but feel a little sad that neither of my parents will be there. It will be 9 months exactly on Friday since dad's passing. It still just blows me away that they are gone. I know mourning my mom's death was different. I always knew that her time was limited and mourned before her death. I think a long term illness makes you come to grips with an imminent death. Don't get me wrong I was very upset when she died, but I knew it would happen. My father's death was totally unexpected. I just wasn't prepared. Can one really ever be prepared for a death? I doubt it.
Monday, May 22, 2006
|Talk about washout weekend. Saturday John played t-ball in the rain and wind, which meant sitting in the bleachers in the rain. Yesterday we killed the afternoon at the mall. John was entertained throwing pennies into the fountain and riding the merry-go-round. We went to the toy store, and just looked around. |
This coming Friday will be exactly 9 months since my father's death. I still rarely get through a day without thinking about him. I miss him and wish he were still here. I never realized how hard it would be to mourn him. more later.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
|John is in the tub, and tomorrow it's back to school. His first year of school comes to an end in a month and it amazes me how much he's learned. Of course I'm listening to him splash like a madman in the tub, and still being a boy, but he's come a long way. He is reading now and loves reading signs as we drive by. He is also telling time, adding, and subtracting. Now if his two bottom teeth would come out and he could tie his shoes we'd be set. |
I'm back to Eastern time. Jet lag wasn't too bad. I loved Cyprus and would go back in a heartbeat. I enjoyed London too.