Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July

Today we are just taking advantage of having a relaxing day. It was a busy weekend, and it feels nice to just chill. Yesterday we had dad's unveiling. It went well. My aunt did a really nice job leading the service. I got a little choked up saying my speech, which I shall share.
I stand in front of your grave and in some ways I’m at a loss for words. You left us just over 10 months ago. Some days it feels like just yesterday. Some days it is feeling like time has passed. That week we spent watching you slip away in some ways was surreal. We were back on Kidd 7 where mom spent time after her 2 surgeries, and for me it brought back memories of being there with her. Of course our memories of mom were so vivid because we had just had her unveiling.
I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings and saying mourning your death has been easy. We have all struggled in our own ways with losing you so quickly and unexpectedly. This has been a very difficult year and not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
All four of us have been mourning in our own private way. We are closer because of you. You always said family was important. I will never forget the look of joy you had on your face the afternoon we all spent with you at 10 Edgewood after mom’s unveiling. It wasn’t a planned thing; we all just went there after the luncheon. You were so happy to see your grandchildren playing happily together, and having all of your family there with you. You were at peace and enjoyed the time spent together.
You were a big part of our lives and not having you around is a huge loss to us. Although you weren’t religious, you certainly were a spiritual being. You believed in family, and instilled that on us. We did manage to coordinate all on our own travel arrangements for Sam’s wedding this past May. Imagine the four of us doing this without you worrying how it would all work out.
I miss your silly emails. I think my inbox has been missing them too! You always carried around with you a silly joke or two that you were forwarded by from friends. Your sense of humour was infectious, and you always found the humour in most situations. Why who else would request a mute button for his wife to be placed in her brain during brain surgery. Who else would suggest taking out his grandson for a TR-7 ride, and leave him in the car with the car running while he ran into the supermarket for a second? Of course you thought nothing wrong of leaving a 5-year-old in a running car. Until we gently reminded you that this particular 5 year old loved cars, and would somehow get it into gear and drive off. Who else would pay a cake decorator money to make a complete fake wedding cake, and have the unsuspecting bride and groom try to cut said fake cake with a metal plate in it but you? Who else would try to talk his way out of speeding tickets, but not quite succeeding?
Seriously though, you were a man who was loyal, and was there for his family and friends. I know the last 12 years of mom’s life were difficult. You stayed with her, and encouraged her to fight. Even after the second surgery, and radiation you always kept mom fighting to keep living. You were there for us also.
You also loved your boat and golfing. Our famous family boat trips live on in our memories. I remember doing the triangle and going to the 1976 Olympics. How the 6 of us functioned on a 29-foot boat, I’ll never know. You did upgrade to a 42-foot boat in 1985. Then the 6 of us ventured the triangle once again. Ahh, the family memories!
Death cannot be and is not the end of life. Man transcends death in many altogether naturalistic fashions. He may be immortal biologically, through his children, in thought through the survival of his memory; in influence, by virtue of the continuance of his personality as a force among those who come after him, and ideally through his identification with the timeless things of the spirit.
When Judaism speaks of immortality it has in mind all these. But its primary meaning is that man contains something independent of the flesh and surviving it; his consciousness and moral capacity; his essential personality; a soul.
I wish you were still here with us. I feel our saying good bye to you was far too quick. I miss you, and love you dad.

We had a nice luncheon at a restaurant after the service. It was nice to be together. Saturday night my brothers and I (with spouses and family) had dinner with my parents close friends. They came up for the unveiling, and it was nice to spend time with them.

My mother-in-law was sick over the weekend, so John didn't get his quality grandma time. Hopefully she'll be better by the 16th. John John is supposed to spend the week with them. I'm still a little nervous about him spending the week there. Not that I don't think he'll be well taken care of, but more so because the last time he was supposed to spend the week my dad had his stroke. Seriously bad things can't happen two years in a row, could it?

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