Fall can be a beautiful season

I love the changes that fall brings. I love watching the trees change colour and the season in general. The only thing I don't like is knowing that winter is around the corner and the easy days are over. I love winter for different reasons, but snow storms, icy roads, school closings, and school delays don't tickle my fancy.
Work has been a little slow lately. I've probably had too much time on my hands. I realize now that having too much time is not always a good thing. John's first trip overseas went quickly. He heads out again next week. We have some unfinished business, and knowing that he's leaving again doesn't make me feel like starting.
Sometimes I wish life weren't so complicated. I hope that I can bear through this little bump in my life.

in three years

In three years, my sister has probably seen the most significant changes to her life. She got married seven months after our mom died, and one month later buried our father. Last year she became a mom for the first time. She will never get to have her parents be a part of her journey as a mom. My parents never got to meet miss adorable little Sadie.
My niece Rachel was only 7-months old when her grandfather died. She was born shortly after mom died. She too will never know her grandparents.
John John was only 5 when my dad died. His memories of my parents are rapidly fading. He barely remembers taking rides in the gold car.
Tomorrow it will be three years since dad died. I just wanted to reflect on what has happened in those years. It to me is a "how time has passed" reflection. Life does indeed move on.

one more week of summer vacation

when I was a teacher I thought 10 weeks wasn't enough. Then again, I did work without much of a break. Now that I have a child I can definitely see that 10 weeks is long. I see how he's regressed with his math skills. John still is reading, but definitely not up to par. Transitioning back to school will be an adjustment.
I am blogging downstairs on our new laptop. John ordered it a couple of weeks ago, and it was a bit of a problem at first. We had to have a Dell tech here, and support from Time Warner. Now it is working, and I am enjoying the wireless mode! When John goes overseas in September and October we'll miss this little luxury. It will be nice knowing that he won't have to bother work for a laptop and he can email/chat daily. John John even loves the laptop! I have to fight him to use it.
Work has been quieter than normal. Next week I am working 3 days. Hopefully I'll pick up some new kids at my other job in September/October. I also hope some more evaluations come in soon. Weird not being so busy.
Tomorrow we are heading over to Boston to check out the Kennedy library with my brother and his family. It will be fun. John has been to 3 presidential libraries this summer. At least he's had some educational opportunities!!

where has the summer gone

Nothing like a little rain to start the day. I don't believe we've made it through many consecutive days without a drop or two. Sort of depressing. Now we are in the home stretch of vacation.
John John was away last week visiting his grandparents. He had a fun trip, but was glad to be back home. When I drove up to get him he just came running to the car and gave me the biggest hug. It felt a little quiet around here without him. John and I sort of were at a loss, but enjoyed the time.
Busy week. I am working all 5 days, but not the whole day. Next week will be quieter, and then the following week school starts. Time to enjoy the rest of summer!

time for a couple of days of quiet

the boys are gone! They are going to Scranton to see the Steam engines, Philly and New Jersey. They shall be back on Tuesday, which gives me 48 hours by myself. Woohoo!! I have no major plans even though I should try to accomplish a couple of things. This will give me the mental break to prepare for John's fall travel. He heads out in September for 2 weeks, and then 3 weeks in October. So in the grand scheme of things I deserve this break.

summertime update

Trip, done. Family reunion, done. Our two major events for the summer are over I am happy to say. Our vacation to California was fun. We spent 3 days at DisneyLand. I was surprised to see how much smaller it is than Disney World. John John was able to ride his favourite ride, Autopia, about 8 times. Car man he is. He was a little disappointed that he couldn't drive a car himself. However the lines were never really that bad so he got to go a lot. We also hit many other rides. We got to meet up with friends we made 6 years ago. We had lunch with them on the 4th at the Rainforest Cafe. Then on the Sunday we went to their house for a birthday party. We visited the Reagan Library in Simi Valley before going to their house. On Monday we did all that we could in Beverly Hills and Hollywood. We were able to go to John Tracy to show John the school he attended for 3 weeks in 2002. We definitely crammed in a lot in one day! Our trip was fun, and just a little different than our usual trip to the beach. Last weekend was my family reunion. There were 28 people here on Saturday. It was extremely hot so most of the day was spent in the pool. My niece Sadie wasn't too keen on swimming. She did enjoy throwing in the beach ball, but trying out her ladybug was not in the cards. Everyone enjoyed a relaxing day. It was nice just to visit with no other purpose. I will probably do it again next year. However preparing is always a lot of work! July has also been busy with summer enrichment camps for John John. He went to our local college the first 2 weeks for cooking classes. He really enjoyed that. Last week and this week he's been going to our district's enrichment. He has had fun. August will be a little less structured. Tentatively he's heading up to Grandma and Grandpa's for a few days. It will be a nice break for all! Then before we know it, summer will be over, and it's back to the daily grind. John heads out overseas in less than 7 weeks. Where does the time go??

heading out for vacation

and I haven't even blogged in a month! Oops. The school year wrapped up last week. All in all John had a very productive 2nd grade year. His teacher was excellent, and he learned a lot. If only his handwriting would improve, but I guess that's wishful thinking. Maybe his cursive will be better. John sort of slacked off with his work, and his marks for this last quarter showed. Bad mom for not pushing him, but some days it was a battle.
We are taking our summer vacation now instead of August. Tomorrow we fly out for California. We will be staying in Anaheim and hitting Disney Land. It should be a fun time. John John is excited to go. I'm also glad to have our big trip over at the beginning instead of later. I seem to have a slower summer so John john and I will have lots of together time. May be a good thing?? Family party is the weekend of July 18. My one brother is too busy to make it down. I guess it's good that I'm close to my two other siblings. Guess I should go and get the rest of the packing done. Ta ta for now.

ever have one of those days......

Thank goodness yesterday is over. John John had probably the worst day in a very long time. Combine lack of sleep and anxiety of his dad going away for the week, you have a recipe for disaster. Four meltdowns and more crying than I've seen in a long time. Hopefully today will be better.

another day

why oh why is coming up with witty titles drive me batty?? Sometimes I wish I could just come up with catchy subjects. Truthfully, it doesn't matter. I like having this blog to air what's on my mind. I also like having this "spot" to share what is happening.
It boggles my mind to think the school year is on the down swing. One more month really left of John's grade 2 year. He only has 3 years left in elementary school. I am still mapping out his summer activities. Not sure yet if my in-laws will be available to have him over the summer. Guess that won't be the worst. It has been a nice little break the last couple of years. John John and I spend a lot of time together. Hopefully the John's can go up to Kingston for a few days without me. I've been there enough for the year.
Thanks Amy and Michelle for the responses. I never would have thought that time heals pain, but in some ways it has. My mom more so than my dad, but honestly her death was not a surprise. We were blessed to have her around for 12 years after her initial brain tumour. I feel guilty admitting that her dying was something that I was prepared for. I miss her, don't get me wrong. I sometimes wish to just hear her on the phone. I just know in my heart she is in a better place, and I can remember the mom I had before her cancer.

remembering mom

today would have been mom's 68th birthday. Hard to believe this is the 4th birthday not to be celebrated. Time has helped heal a little, but the inner core ache of missing mom still hasn't.
We spent a quick weekend up in Kingston. John's mom had surgery last Wednesday. She won't get results till this week about whether or not the cancer is in her lymph nodes. Irene is slowly healing. Hopefully she will get up and walking so she can go home. I was a good girl and went to the hospital to see her. Going in the General was not easy for me, but I did it. I guess hubby realizes it, but he didn't make a big deal about it.
So, on this day, I send a cherished heavenly birthday wish to my mom. miss you.

maybe a quiet week?

Wishful thinking probably. I do believe work wise it might be a bit quieter. However every time I think that, it ends up being crazy.
This weekend we did odds and ends around the house. We needed to do some major cleaning, so we did that today. Yesterday we drove over to Saratoga for some shopping and dinner. John John was in a mood, so it wasn't a joyful day. I wasn't even in the mood to browse when we were at Target. We went to the mall, and I was very good. I eyed some things at Bath and Body Works, but resisted.
John goes away for work again. He's only away Monday and Tuesday, and then again at the end of the month. It will be nice when spring travel is over. He was away most of last week. John John and I had a little too much togetherness. We were definitely ready for a buffer. Too bad he didn't come home with a "I'm ready to handle it" attitude.

crazy week

This has just been a crazy week. It all started last Sunday when we were driving home from Phil's. We had literally just pulled onto the turnpike, and John's mom called us. She told us that John's grandmother just passed away. Nanny, as she was lovingly called, died peacefully at home, at the ripe old age of 99. When we got back home John's dad called to say the funeral would be on Wednesday. Now the only glitch in this for John was being able to leave the country.
John is currently in the process of becoming a US citizen. His green card expired the end of January, and until he gets his citizenship coming back home would be problematic. On Tuesday morning he drove into Albany to Homeland Security to see if there was any way he could get a stamp in his passport. Although Homeland Security was sorry for his predicament, they wouldn't do it. So, as I told him earlier, just pay and renew the green card. John ended up doing that, and was able to go to his grandmother's funeral.
Which leads me to the next part of the crazy week was Tuesday before we were to leave. John gets a call and his mother was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. I came home quickly during the day for a bathroom break, and John was totally upset over this. I told him to just go and not wait for John John and I. I knew he wanted to possibly stay after the funeral, and it's a relatively short drive. He left, and when he got to Kingston, his mom had been discharged. Turns out she had a mini stroke. Aiye aiye aiye.
The funeral itself was a beautiful tribute to Nan. She had picked out a lovely pink casket, all lined in satin. The hymns she picked out were nice, and the minister gave a nice eulogy. It was sad seeing such a bigger than life woman leave this world. However, how can you complain about 99 years?
Now I can only hope that this is enough on craziness.

5 things....

List 5 things your readers may not know about you.

1. I have a horrible habit of swearing, especially when I'm driving.

2. I love coloring, especially with new crayons.

3. I have dual citizenship (American / Canadian)

4. I worked for a summer in housekeeping at a hotel.

5. I failed my driver's test on the first try.

There! No I can't confess to anything extraordinary. I can not do the splits. Can't do anything with my tongue (at least not blog material). Have I done things that I'm not proud of? You bet. However these are 5 things you may not know about moi.

spring break

and so it is! The weather is being cooperative, and by the end of the week it's supposed to be in the upper 6o's. I am so happy to see the snow melting and out of the way for 6 months or so. This week is John John's spring break. I unfortunately am working most of it. Too much to do, and not enough time to finish it these days. At least I don't have to see my 3 to 5 year olds. I did come out of one house only to find out she has lice. NASTY! My clothes went right into the wash after work. Somedays I feel like I don't get paid enough to go into such dirty places. Not that I'm immaculate myself, but in those places mine looks beautiful.
I was a very good girl this past weekend. I took John up to Kingston to see his grandparents. John had to work, so I figured it beat hanging around here. John John hasn't seen them since Christmas and I figured it would be a nice thing to do. My in-laws appreciated the gesture and enjoyed the visit. I was able to meet a friend for coffee. We missed John, but I bet he enjoyed the little break. This coming weekend we are heading over to my brother's for a mini Passover. Weird celebrating it with just us, but no other invites were forthcoming.
I am busy these days at work. I can't complain as the money is good. We shall see what the summer is like. Now it's off to fold some laundry. The fun never ends.

guess I should update my own blog

been surfing and reading my friends' blogs, and have ignored my 0wn. Bad girl! Today was one of those days where I should have just stayed home. It rained all day, and just yucky. I had scheduled 5 visits, but managed to only get in 2 due to various cancellations and sleeping. I still don't understand why it is so difficult to get up for an 11am appointment. But far be it for me to figure that out. So, with time to spare I paid the water bill and Jackson Hewitt. We were figuring that we owed big time for taxes. Fortunately our taxes aren't that bad, and with the federal rebate coming we'll actually be more than even. Sweet!
This weekend we are going to Washington D.C. John has a program on Sunday, so John John and I are tagging along. It will be nice to get away. My last trip was in January. Next weekend I am taking John John up to Kingston to visit his grandparents. Lord knows what possessed me to offer this in some ways. John has to work 2 open houses and I needed some form of entertainment for John John. So what do I do? Open my big mouth and offer to take him up to see his grandparents. For one night I can do it. He hasn't seen them since Christmas and it will be good for him to see grandma before her surgery. I just hope I don't come back regretting it.
Still on the fence about what to do for Passover. I am leaning towards just going to our synagogue's seder. My aunt ditched me once again. I should seriously not even bother. She's to wrapped up in her own thing. I should also not let it bother me.
Now it's time for the weather to be more cooperative and feel like spring.

thinking about what I've gained since my parents' deaths

I read an article posted by a friend about how life is after your parents are gone. To be honest, for the last 2 1/2 years whenever I think of them I get sad. I miss the fact that they now have 2 adorable granddaughters. I'm sad that my son is really forgetting them alive. I miss not being able to just call them on the phone to say hi. I miss my dad's twenty million calls before driving up to see them about which day might be better based on weather. The list could go on cause honestly their deaths have left a hole in my life.
But, time has moved on and without them mine has marched on. I can see that I'm closer with 2 of my siblings. My one brother Andrew has reverted back to his independent life. I shall remind him of our family reunion this summer, and maybe he'll come. Probably not, but the invite is extended. My other brother now lives three hours away so we get to visit often. My sister lives quite a distance so seeing each other often isn't always feasible. So, in a nutshell I do see a positive or two since living without my parents.

another crappy Wednesday

This has been the weather pattern for a while. Fortunately we didn't get as much ice as they were calling for. To be honest though, I'm just tired of reworking my schedule to accommodate the bad weather. I so can't wait for spring.
I got the call yesterday to start with the other agency. To answer your question Michelle, I shall now be contracting with the 2 agencies. I am only providing Special Education therapy for the new agency, but working with 3-5 year olds. The agency that I've been working for for the last 5 years I provide therapy for 0-3 year olds, and do evaluations. So, in my opinion it's a win-win situation. I can expand my caseload and still work the hours I need. With the way our adoption is going, I don't see us going over to China till at least next Spring now so that won't be a factor.
This weekend my cute little niece Sadie turns 1. I had planned on being there for her party, but now we can't. My sister was understandably disappointed, but she understands. I'm happy that my sister loves being a mom. Being a parent gives you a whole different perspective! Here's a picture of her. She's just too cute!

I got another job....

Let me start by saying I love my job. I work as an Early Intervention therapist, and I love going to people's houses and working with kids. Of course driving in bad weather, and some houses that I go in aren't the greatest, but for the most part it's a great job. The big drawback though, is getting new clients. I'm at the mercy of the county's who usually ask me last to pick up kids. I can't work with 3-5 year olds at my agency so that puts me in a disadvantage. Well, not anymore. Today I went on a job interview and got hired with another center where I can provide Special Education therapy for 3-5's. I'm so excited!! My interview lasted 15 minutes, and I was hired on the spot. It makes me feel good to be offered it right away. Now we can also sock away more money which will be nice.
We are getting another storm tonight. We will never be able to see over the snow banks! I am ready for warmer weather and the snow disappearing. Tomorrow marks the beginning of March, so I shall hope the snow is gone in a few weeks.

successful birthday

I had a nice birthday. John barbecued a nice steak. It would have been nice to go out, but the budget is tight this pay. I actually have a job interview tomorrow. I'm looking to expand my caseload, and working with another agency will help. This way I can work with 3-5 year olds. I'm a little nervous, but I think it will be a good move. My former boss will be a reference.
This weekend we are planning on hanging out at the homestead. I think we might go to this carnival in Amsterdam. We are also going on some trips with John coming up. We need to book our trip to California soon too. I can't believe February is over. This year is flying by.

happy birthday to me....

well, there it is, I am now officially 39. No, this isn't a pity party. I am just amazed that this is my last year of my 30's, and next year it's 40. For the most part my 30's have been pretty good. I have watched my son grow and change so much. It has also been touched with deep sorrow over losing my parents. I am a little bittersweet tonight thinking about them. Life continues to march on, and sometimes just knowing that I can't talk to them hurts.
Today was just spent hanging out with the boys. Last weekend we went over to Lee, MA and had dinner with my brother and his family. I'm happy that they live so close. It's nice seeing them more often. I had to cancel my trip to Toronto for my niece's 1st birthday. I feel guilty that we can't go. We waited too long to book flights, and can't get them for the lower rates. Plus driving 6 hours by myself (with John John) and possible winter weather doesn't seem doable. So, the hotel reservation was cancelled. Sorry sis!
Tomorrow I am celebrating with my girlfriend's. Should be a fun lunch. I also applied for another part time job. Work has been slow lately, and I need more of a client base. I think working with 3-5 year olds will be fun. Haven't had that age group in quite a while.